Night Court Immortals
by Thor2000
Summary: Following the events of "Night Court Countdown," Dan has decided to move on to better things. In the meantime, someone calling himself Ares, the god of war, has come through court, and he might be the real deal!


CHAPTER ONE

STARRING: Kevin Smith as Ares, Meighan Desmond as Discord, Kevin Sorbo as Hercules, Hudson Leick as Monica Bradbury and Tyler Mane as Thor

Judge Harry Stone stared at the eleven year old minor before him. Next to him, clerk Mac Robinson stared equally in stunned surprise at the defendant. The blonde young girl stood before him and looked up with the pixie-like attitude of a girl of eight as Kelly Anderson, the Public Defender, rechecked her file.

"Sir," Kelly continued. "She confesses to speeding through the New Jersey tunnel in her father's Porsche, but she insists that she did not strike the officer that arrested her."

"Prosecution." Harry looked to Assistant District Attorney Dan Fielding.

"Give me another try," Dan turned to the girl. "You're really a midget, aren't you??!!!"

"You smell like my mommy's boyfriends, mister." The girl answered.

"Let's turn this over to child welfare." Harry pounded his gavel as Roz escorted the girl off. Kelly turned to put her file in her briefcase as she looked over to Dan, her husband and light of her life.

"I'm going to miss working with you, Dan." She cooed a bit in her statement.

"But, baby..." He kissed and held her as Mac passed a barf bag to Harry over the public display of affection. "With this job, I'll make enough money to clothe you in minks, and pearls and drive you around in a Porsche of your own."

"But I don't want that." Kelly looked up into his big brown eyes and ran her fingers over the silver in his hair. "I just want you."

The sound of Harry coughing something grotesque up interrupted their romantic interlude. Kelly had been his best friend, a distant relative by marriage and sometimes a girlfriend, but when he thought of her married to Dan, something in his guts just had to turn over like a bad enchilada in his gizzard. Even Mac sometimes crinched as the once sleazy almost acted human.

"We'll miss you, Dan." Harry looked to Mac. "What's next?"

"Name John Doe." Mac read the arrest report. "He was arrested while standing in the middle of Broadway and screaming into the sky. Wait till you hear who he says he is." Mac started grinning as he expected another look of the incredible from Harry over these odd cases they received.

"Really." Harry looked at the dour faced figure with long dark hair and a goatee. He was dressed in dark leather from head to toe with bare muscular arms and an arrogant sneer on his face for contempt. The probable biker leered at Dan and scanned his wardrobe.

"What's your name?" Harry asked.

"Ares, god of war." The leather-clad defendant answered. Harry looked up in disbelief to Mac grinning at the fun.

"Really?" Harry went along with the man's delusion. "We've never had a celebrity before."

"Sir," Dan continued with the case. "The… god… in question was standing in traffic screaming at the sky and people around him. When police tried to arrest him, he fought them off and ran three blocks before they could finally catch him. It took eighteen men to book and get  
him processed."

"What's the problem?" Harry asked wanting to know what was bothering the would-be war god. Sometimes, just knowing what was really wrong in these people's lives made a difference in how he could help them or just render a just sentence.

"Well, you see..." The alleged Ares stepped forward, obnoxiously leaned into the bench and looked at Harry with a wry bit of wit. "I tried to kill Hercules.............again, and Zeus took away my godhood................. again. I don't know why because I'm just going to try and kill him again when I get it back."

"Defense?" Harry slowly panned for a second over to Kelly.

"We call for a psychiatric analyzation." She answered.

"Good for me." Harry pounded his gavel.

"Hey, Bull," Mac turned to the big bald bailiff leading away the humiliated war-god. "Put him in that cell with the guy who says he's Jesus Christ and tell me what happens."

"Right." Bull turned to take the supposed war-god. Instead, he gripped Roz as she returned and started walking away with her.

"Bull," She stopped him. "What are you doing?"

"What?" The big bald bailiff did a double take and realized his error. He did not have his prisoner after all, but he could quickly fix that. "I'm sorry, Roz. But I lost my contacts and I can't see very well without them."

"What about your glasses?" She asked.

"What?" Bull responded as he took Ares by the shoulder and led him away. "And look like a geek?" He continued on his way as Roz stayed behind and watched the next case.

"Big bald Bull is blind as a bat........." She mumbled. "If Dan hears this, Bull won't stand a chance."

CHAPTER TWO

Ares, god of war................

Born to a divine race of beings known as the Immortals of Earth, he was worshipped and called a god by the superstitious and other wise ignorant people who lived in ancient times. From the end of the Roman Empire to the beginning of World War Two, he had been kept prisoner in a tomb unable to watch as civilization and exploration took over the planet. Shocked by the  
Romans senseless persecution and murder of countless Christians in their name, the Olympians had withdrawn from Earth and started a weird domino affect as other pantheons broke off from Earth. Ares didn't like it. He could have stopped it. The only problem was that he couldn't do much reduced to being a mere mortal and stuck in a Manhattan jail.

"No body knows............. the trouble I've seen.........." He stuck his head through the bars and sang on the misery in his heart. He hadn't been able to see the Big Band era nor Prohibition with its shooting and power struggles, but he felt an affinity for it. "No body knows.............. My sorrow..."

"Something bothering you, my son." The longhaired, bearded hippie in long white robes looked at him with two big blue eyes. He looked as humbly regal as the person he claimed to be. Ares just turned to him with his eyes narrowed by annoyance and realized that this mortal was really a mugging victim named Richard Curtis from Lafayette, Georgia. He was going to leave  
it to the mortals to figure it out on their own.

"Yeah, right...." He sarcastically rolled his eyes at the image of the carpenter he had ignored from Jerusalem. If he had known then what he knew now...

"Ohhhhhh, big brother........." Discord appeared in a flash outside of the cell wearing a bailiff uniform. It was pulled open down to her cleavage. "Are you depressed?" She tilted her head to the right annoyingly and irritatingly docile.

"You can't even do one job right." Ares glared at her. The hostility level in his voice was rising. "I tell you............ to keep Thor distracted for one hour, and he and Hercules end up dropping half of Central Park on my head!!!!!!"

"Well," Discord rolled her eyes kittenishly. "I tried to.................. but he just looked at me with those big blue eyes and................." She swooned a bit as she gasped for air. "Suddenly I saw myself having his babies..............."

"Cupid!!" Ares raged and kicked the cell door and then hoped on his hurt foot. He really hated being mortal. "I knew it!! Or Aphrodite!! She always did have a thing for that hammer-throwing idiot!!" He braced himself against the inside of the bars a second. "How long am I going to be mortal this time?!!!"

"Ten years."

"Ten????" Ares started choking on the concept. He was shocked as he looked at the grin on the hippie with him and turned back to his sister. "How am I going to get by for ten years!!!"

"Well, you could get a job." Discord pulled a pad out of her pocket. "Apollo needs another roadie for his concerts. You can pick up deer poop at Artemis's reserve or help Hestia at her food kitchen for the homeless and of course, Circe always wants another hired hand for her Florida villa........."

"Can Helen get me a job at the Playboy mansion?"

"In your dreams.........." Discord knew the former spoil from Troy wanted as little to do with both of them. "But then, I get the feeling you'll be busy enough after you are committed...." She began giggling sadistically as she backed her way out. She bumped into someone behind her as she turned and looked up into the face of Bull Shannon. The big bald bailiff looked down on her as he tried to figure out whom she was.

"Atlas has escaped the Underworld!!!!" The petite brunette goddess widened her eyes in fear of the bailiff. He looked so much like the exiled Titan. She screeched out of fear and vanished screaming into a puff of light. Bull looked around, shook his head and pounded at his head as he tried to displace the illusion.

"I've got to get my contacts back!!" he mumbled.

CHAPTER THREE

Monica Bradbury was a statuesque blonde beauty with two regal brown eyes and two perfect legs. She had transformed her father's barbell company into a Fortune 500 company, which owned exercise studios and health spas across the United States. In a sense, she had conquered the world as she stood behind her desk as if it was a throne with her view of the Manhattan skyline behind her.

"Mrs. Bradbury," Her intercom buzzed. "Mr. Fielding is here."

"Send him in." She buzzed back as she stood, adjusted her dress and then walked around her desk and stood in front of it. She leaned back with her arms crossed and appeared as sexually intimidating as possible as Dan Fielding entered the room.

"Mrs. Bradbury," Dan was shown in as he responded professionally and then lost his sense of decorum. "Would you look at that view!!!" He dashed to the window and became a kid once more.

"I know." Bradbury grinned thinking he was describing herself. "I was once Miss New Hampshire."

"I bet you can see the entire city from here!!!" Dan was like a big kid at the window.

"Mr. Fielding?"

"What? Oh yes.........." Dan became professional again as he moved to and sat in the leather chair that Monica gestured to. His eyes narrowed a bit as she tossed her flaxen hair and looked down on him as if he were just another conquest.

"As you know," She started as she stood up straight and paced before him. "I'm looking for a person to fill in the position of General Liaison between my businesses and myself. The person I hire must be...." She lifted her eyebrows flirtingly. ".... Capable of uniform decisions and be able to know my way of thinking inside and out without error. They must be willing to not mind any other............. jobs I throw at them."

"Well," Dan cleared his throat. "After being assistant district attorney for all these years and a running politician at time for a state position, I am most certain that I can handle anything given to me to carry out."

"I don't think you understand, Dan." Monica hovered over him as she took his hand. "When I say I want you working under me, I say, I want you..........." She put his hand on her butt. "Under me."

"Miss Bradbury..." Dan looked shocked as he stood. "I'm a happily married man!!"

"Why would you go and do a stupid thing like that?" She looked at him. "I mean, aren't you the same Dan Fielding who had sex on a roller coaster in Disney Land!!"

"I was just showing her my Mickey." Dan answered. "Look, I'm not that person anymore." The old Dan leered at the way her chemise strained over her bosom from her deep breath. "I'm married now. Those days are behind me. I'm a damn good attorney and my work record should be good enough to get me any job in the world. If you can't respect me for that, well, I'm afraid I can't be your little............. boy toy. Dan Fielding is no one's lackey."

"Is that it?"

"Yes."

"This meeting is over." Monica returned to her seat.

"Thank you." Dan turned and stepped through as the secretary held the door for him. With his departure, the young lady closed the door and moved across the room to her employer's desk. She opened the file across it for Mrs. Bradbury to look upon it.

"I need you to sign............." The secretary started.

"Oh my god, what have I done?!!" Dan screamed from somewhere in the outer office.

CHAPTER FOUR

The elevator doors beyond Judge Stone's courtroom opened as two brawny men stepped forth. Both of them looked exceptionally handsome for their type. The hazel-eyed figure in jeans and a brown leather jacket looked as if he had once killed a hydra or dragged a hellhound from the underworld at one time. His partner had long blonde hair and a thick beard with eyes of regal  
bearing. His massive hand appeared almost as if they were best fit curled around a hammer and killing giants. They stepped forward, peered uninterestedly at the hookers fawning over them, then passed onward as they wandered the hallways of this modern building of justice.

"I don't understand your desire to bail your accursed brother out of jail." The retired thunder-god spoke to his comrade out of concern. "He's done nothing but to antagonize you for all your years of existence."

"You just don't get Ares." Hercules stopped outside of the commissary full of both court employees and hungry patrons. "He's also fought by my side at times..."

"When it suited his own concerns."

"He's a good person underneath." Hercules answered. "I've seen him blast drug pushers and sent muggers to the moon. His war on crime is just a war to him, but he knows the inherent good in it."

"You'd never hear me speak that way of Loki." Thor folded his arms out of distrust to the war-god.

"Well, Loki is just evil." Hercules noticed the bailiff named Roz Russell. The bold-faced and by the book African American couldn't help but allow her female side pawn over the two beefcakes, but her assertive side knew she could also take them out if she had to. Of course, she was not truly aware of their true natures.

"Excuse me," Hercules started. "I'm here to bail my brother out of jail. Who do I see about that?"

"Judge Stone," Roz narrowed her eyes at him. "He'll be out of court in a half hour. His chambers are around the courtroom."

"Thanks." Hercules grinned.

"Aren't you Kevin Sorbo from Andromeda?" Roz looked at him.

"Yeah," Hercules grinned again a bit embarrassed as she recognized his mortal guise as the actor from the last ten years. Thor rolled as his eyes at recurring recognition. "You a fan?"

"I hate that show." Roz answered and turned away. Thor burst out laughing at the embarrassing bit of public display as Hercules looked back at him.

"I knew..." Thor Odinson replied. "That if I hung around you soon enough that sooner or later I'd meet someone who'd tell you off."

"Why doesn't anyone take me as a starship captain?" The former god mumbled as he continued on his way.

CHAPTER FIVE

Discord was still lurking around the courthouse has a bailiff as her own excuse to knock down and abuse the criminals. There was a certain dirty little perverse pleasure she had in watching a mortal male who was three times bigger than her in size suddenly break down and start whimpering before her as they groveled at her feet. She giggled to herself in secret as  
she still had the might to appear omnipotent before spaced out druggies and burned out bums.

"Discord."

She had heard that voice before as she strutted through the halls of the criminal justice building. She stopped where she was and turned around and saw Area out of his cage. He was still mortal, but standing on either side of him was Hercules and Thor. Whatever love spell she had for the thunder-god was off as they advanced on her and lifted her up off her feet.

"Hey!" She screamed and started kicking. "Put me down! Hercules, being a god doesn't mean you can touch me! Put me down and............. say, Thor, are you married or seeing someone?" Maybe some of Cupid's spell still had an affect on her. She was briefly distracted as the  
elevator opened and Monica Bradbury emerged.

"Callisto?" She wondered about the look-alike and wondered if the blonde was another descendant from the family of Xena's nemesis as the elevator doors started to close. "Hey, that was Callisto..." The doors closed.

Bradbury meanwhile just strided forward and entered the cafeteria. As she panned her gaze across the tables, she noticed Kelly Anderson-Fielding sitting by herself on her lunch break and approached her.

"Mrs. Fielding?"

"Yes," Kelly looked up from her book as she pushed her glasses back along the tip of her nose.

"Monica Bradbury, I had a appointment with your husband earlier."

"Yes," Kelly closed her book and sat up. "Did he get the job?"

"Not yet," Bradbury sat down across from her and leaned across the table. "I just wanted to see and meet you."

"Oh..."

"In fact," Monica continued as she crossed her legs. "I'm very interested in your husband. In fact, I'm very interested."

"I see............" Kelly listened.

"What would you say................" Bradbury seemed fishing for a response. "If I said that he made a pass at me and we had sex."

"I know you'd be lying." Kelly answered. "Dan told me everything that happened. You see, I trust him explicitly and I know he wouldn't do that."

"You know what he used to be like." Monica answered. "He slipped."

"I know." Kelly answered as she lifted her bowl of soup and poured it over Bradbury's head. "But it looked like you slipped."

Bradbury gasped and shook her head and she wiped the broth from her eyes. She pulled a lucky carrot out of her cleavage and noodles and vegetables out of her hair. From behind her, Bull Shannon strided up to the table.

"Court in five minutes." He told Kelly. "And guess what? I found my contacts. I accidentally put them both in one eye." He acted as if he had just noticed Monica Bradbury. He did a double take as he looked at the mess all over her.

"Gosh, lady," He replied. "You're the messiest eater **I'VE** ever seen."

END


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